Do I Really Want to Know God?
Psalm 139:23–24 (NRSV):
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
24 See if there is any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Do I really want to know God?
I think about this question a lot. If I want to know God, how do I see and know and experience God and God‘s presence more fully? What is the best practice? How can I best nurture my faith and spirituality and relationship with God? What is the best way? What can I do?
It can all become a little manic after a while.
Through it all, one thing has become increasingly clear: Toknow God I must allow myself to be known… truly known.
This is not a work, or some hidden requirement from God. Grace is free from musts and shoulds and have-tos. No, it is simply a reflection of the mutuality of real relationships.
My closest friends are not simply people I know just a little about. My closest friends are people who have allowed me deeper beneath the surface, and to whom I've allowed the same. These are the few with whom I’ve shared my struggles and shame and pain, along with my joys and celebrations... and they have shared the same with me.
Knowing and vulnerability go hand-in-hand. Knowing is intimate. What is normally risky feels safe?
Do I really want to know God or do I just want God to do stuff for me when I need it?
Knowing God means opening myself to be “searched and known.” Knowing God means being honest about the good stuff and the bad. Knowing God means not hiding the wicked ways that are in me. Knowing God means allowing God to lead me to God’s way that is everlasting.
Do I really want to know God?