How are you doing?
How are you doing?
When asked that question I typically say something like, “I’m good.” If I feel like being a little more vulnerable I’ll say, “I’m good. Tired, but I can’t really complain.” Or, often I dodge the question of how I am doing by talking about work or my family.
How are you doing?
I don’t think most people who ask really want to know. It’s not that they are unconcerned. But, “How are you doing?” has come to mean something more like, “Hello” than a question asked out of genuine curiosity or concern. So, I respond accordingly. As much as I want to be open and share from an honest, vulnerable place, there are only a few people with whom I am fully open. Just because someone asks, doesn’t mean they are a person with whom it is safe to share. I have the scars to prove it.
How are you doing?
Thankfully I have a handful of people to whom I can offer a genuine response. When they ask, it isn’t a risk to answer, it’s a relief. I need people with whom there is no pretense. I need people with whom I feel seen and heard. This week I’ve been able to spend time with three such friends. When they ask how I am doing, I answer. I really answer. I know they are compassionately listening. With them, I sense what I would call the presence of Christ.
How am I doing?
Today I’ll risk enough to say I’m healing. I’m healing, and I’m grateful for friends who hold space for me as I am.