LOVED, KNOWN, & FREE

Adventures in All Things New

I am LOVED.
I am KNOWN.
I am FREE.

Every morning for about a month, I’ve written these words at the top of my daily planner page. I’ve been working through a time of transition: new job, new rhythms, new relationships. It’s been good, and sometimes I still feel a little lost. Almost daily, someone asks, “How is it going at the church?” I don’t know how to evaluate that yet, so I typically say, “I’m still finding my way a bit,” or “I’m getting my legs underneath me.” It’s hard to admit that I still have little/no idea what I’m doing, but it’s true. But it makes people nervous. A church community exercised their faith in calling me to be one of their pastors. I want them to be confident in that call. I want to earn their trust, but it all takes time. In the hospital, my work was mostly responsive/reactive. The pager told me where I needed to be and when. And while the details differed with each call, my job was basically the same in every circumstance. Some days, I miss knowing what I’m doing. It provided a sense of security. Maybe that’s one reason I keep writing these words:

I am LOVED.
I am KNOWN.
I am FREE.

In them, I feel secure. They remind me who I am, even before I know what I’m doing.

I am LOVED.

It’s true. As much as I value producing, creating, and performing well in my work, LOVE doesn’t depend on these things. I am loved. Period. Every day, I’m reminded of the fullness of God’s love for me. My family and friends won’t let me forget it. My daughter told me recently, “Every time I come home from school and see your car in the driveway, my heart is so full.” She hugged me tight and said, “I really missed you when you worked every night at the hospital.” Yes. I am loved. I smile every time my son comes downstairs and greets me with a smile and, “Well, hello there” in his best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice. He knows Star Wars is one of my love languages and loves me well. Michelle laughs at my goofy jokes and gives me the look only she can give when I’m being ridiculous. She slides close to me on the couch as we read or watch TV. She tells me she loves me so often that I can never forget it.

I am KNOWN.

As I settle into the ministry and rhythm of a new job, there are a lot of names, faces, and stories to learn. Everyone has been wonderful and welcoming, but we are just beginning to know one another. I’m here for it. I love meeting people and getting to know them. I’m also an introvert. It takes a lot of energy to forge new relationships. So, as part of my spiritual rhythm, I retreat into a space where I am already known. I spend time in the quiet every morning, sipping coffee and writing. At my kitchen table, I reflect on God’s presence with me. The familiar words and melody of the song “Borning Cry” often repeat in my thoughts. 

I was there to hear your borning cry,
I’ll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized,
to see your life unfold.

I find comfort in a time of so much change that God already knows and loves me. God has been with me from the beginning and will stay with me through every season, old and new. It feels good to be known.

I am FREE.

Freedom is a natural extension of feeling loved and known. God already knows and loves me, which breaks any chains that might bind me otherwise. When I make mistakes (and I make plenty) I don’t have to become enslaved to them. I can try new things and ask questions. I don’t have to have all the answers or get all the credit for success. I also don’t have to carry the full weight of failure or misstep. None of those things change my status in the eyes of God. I am LOVED. Period. I am KNOWN. Period. And I am FREE. I echo the words of the Psalmist, who says,

“Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free.” – Psalm 118:5

I am LOVED.
I am KNOWN.
I am FREE.