Music Monday - Peace (Demo Version)
(And a little bit about my internal struggle)
This Friday I’m playing at one of the largest Christian music festivals in the country! What??!!! LIFEST starts this Thursday in OshKosh, WI. I’ll be there along with folks like TobyMac, Matthew West, Cory Asbury, Anne Wilson, Ben Fuller, Mac Powell, Casting Crowns and so many more. I play Friday morning at 11:15 on the Cafe stage.
I’m so excited about the opportunity, but it’s also been a bit of a wrestling match internally. I’ve never quite fit in with the Christian music scene. I’m not the best singer or player. I don’t have any popular songs. Most people have no idea who I am. Nothing I’ve ever written is radio-ready. My songs are slow and sometimes sad. I ask a lot of questions and rarely resolve much of anything. There will be 25,000 people at the festival, what if no one shows up for my set? My last gig was for 10 people in a church basement fellowship hall. What am I doing on THIS stage?
Yeah. It's been an internal battle with self-confidence and doubt.
But I WAS invited. My friend Bob who is behind the whole thing loves me and believes in me. Maybe someone listening will sense they are not alone in their questions. Maybe someone needs these songs to accompany them on their grief journey. Maybe the door will open for a deeper conversation with someone. I have no idea.
All I can do is be who I am. Every time I play I pour my heart and soul into what I sing and share. It doesn’t matter if it is for 10 people in a basement or on the biggest stage, I can’t be anyone else other than who I am. So, I won’t pretend. I will sing my slow, sad, hopeful songs about loss and grief and God’s presence through it all for whoever shows up. I’ll sing and share as honestly and vulnerably as I know how, and maybe it will matter to a few people.
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement as my whole family travels with me this week.
Below is a one-take, live demo of one of those sad, slow, hopeful songs. It’s called “Peace.” Maybe one day it will be more polished and on a record. For now, it is me in my basement. If you listen carefully you’ll hear my dog Maya snoring at my feet as I play.