I originally wrote and shared this in July 2023. After a few edits and revisions, it feels like a good time to re-share. Several family members and friends are weighed down with life right now. The load they are bearing is too much. I’m sharing this today because I need this reminder as much as they do: Life isn’t often merciful, but God ALWAYS is.
This makes me think about the word resilience, Brian. It means something entirely different to me than the way some may view it. I have been in the place where I did not want to be told I was "strong" or "brave" because of the way I handled caregiving for Sarah and all of her myriad medical needs.
But I have also been in a place where holding it all together and bulldozing through life broke me. I snapped. I ended up collapsing from the inside out, and once that happened it was this idea of rebuilding myself and my life - resilience - that restored my hope in redemption.
Maybe the word resilience can be defined in different ways. I sure hope that by using that word on my website it doesn't deter people. Because I truly believe and celebrate where every person is, including falling apart. To me, we can't end there. We have to figure out what we do have agency over in our lives, and that's how we overcome this sense of powerlessness and hopelessness.
I think it is a good example of how words hit different at different times. Resilience is a wonderful and needed characteristic.... and it needs to be celebrated. Humans have a remarkable capacity to endure and we need living examples and stories to remind us of that. Your story and your life bear such witness to that. I don't think it is a deterrent... except for when it is. For some (like my friend who made that post) it was an unhelpful word that felt like a platitude in the moment of her crisis. But now... she is the picture of resilience. She is powerful, brave, and resilient. She sees that more clearly now and readily shares her story. But when she was drowning in crisis, that was part of her plea... "Take this cup from me, I don't want it! I don't want to HAVE to be strong, brave, powerful, and resilient. I'd rather just be at peace." AND... her resilience has been essential. She's grown (and is growing) strong again (Sounds like a good name for a Substack) because of her resilience. You are 100% correct. "We have to figure out what we do have agency over in our lives, and that's how we overcome this sense of powerlessness and hopelessness." The crisis is not the end. Even death doesn't get the final word.
Thanks for inserting that “hey sounds like a great name for a Substack.” Nice nod to the title of mine, Brian. I appreciate that. Words definitely matter, and they mean different things to different people at different times. Resilience, I guess, is among them.
:-) Totally. So many of the things people tell us are helpful, healing, true, AND still true, but unhelpful, harmful used at the wrong time. Your work and writing is awesome and I'm grateful for your willingness to dive deep.
This makes me think about the word resilience, Brian. It means something entirely different to me than the way some may view it. I have been in the place where I did not want to be told I was "strong" or "brave" because of the way I handled caregiving for Sarah and all of her myriad medical needs.
But I have also been in a place where holding it all together and bulldozing through life broke me. I snapped. I ended up collapsing from the inside out, and once that happened it was this idea of rebuilding myself and my life - resilience - that restored my hope in redemption.
Maybe the word resilience can be defined in different ways. I sure hope that by using that word on my website it doesn't deter people. Because I truly believe and celebrate where every person is, including falling apart. To me, we can't end there. We have to figure out what we do have agency over in our lives, and that's how we overcome this sense of powerlessness and hopelessness.
I think it is a good example of how words hit different at different times. Resilience is a wonderful and needed characteristic.... and it needs to be celebrated. Humans have a remarkable capacity to endure and we need living examples and stories to remind us of that. Your story and your life bear such witness to that. I don't think it is a deterrent... except for when it is. For some (like my friend who made that post) it was an unhelpful word that felt like a platitude in the moment of her crisis. But now... she is the picture of resilience. She is powerful, brave, and resilient. She sees that more clearly now and readily shares her story. But when she was drowning in crisis, that was part of her plea... "Take this cup from me, I don't want it! I don't want to HAVE to be strong, brave, powerful, and resilient. I'd rather just be at peace." AND... her resilience has been essential. She's grown (and is growing) strong again (Sounds like a good name for a Substack) because of her resilience. You are 100% correct. "We have to figure out what we do have agency over in our lives, and that's how we overcome this sense of powerlessness and hopelessness." The crisis is not the end. Even death doesn't get the final word.
Thanks for inserting that “hey sounds like a great name for a Substack.” Nice nod to the title of mine, Brian. I appreciate that. Words definitely matter, and they mean different things to different people at different times. Resilience, I guess, is among them.
:-) Totally. So many of the things people tell us are helpful, healing, true, AND still true, but unhelpful, harmful used at the wrong time. Your work and writing is awesome and I'm grateful for your willingness to dive deep.
Yes, and amen, amen, amen. 🙌🏻